St. Anthony on the Desert Episcopal Church
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#stanthonydesert

To be Healed

1/6/2023

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“But our citizenship is in heaven, and it is from there that we are expecting a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. He will transform our humble bodies that they may be conformed to the body of His glory . .” Philippians 3: 20-21

Paul tells the church in Corinth “A thorn was given me in the flesh . . . Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would leave me, but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12: 8-9

I regard as one of the better things I do for the community of Saint Anthony on the Desert is being present in St. Luke’s chapel to be with those who in need of healing seek words of encouragement, of solace. As well as prayers and a sympathetic touch, (“laying on of hands”), which I believe emphasize our mutual and shared brokenness.

Yet, I struggle with this whole idea of healing sickness and disease through prayer. How do our prayers for healing work? I know God and Jesus in his glory hear us! Why do we not perceive their answers? How did I feel when all our prayers to heal Bonnie of her cancer didn’t result in the cancer going away? In my mind, I felt that perhaps her death is a healing; her, and God’s, final victory over the cancer. It was a way to deal with it! Did that help me in my grieving; not much! Nor was it meant to! It was more an intellectual answer rather than a spirit filled answer from my heart.
   
So, what does this mean to us, “to be healed”? The words salvation and savior are rooted in the Latin salve:  to heal, to be made whole, the one who makes us whole.
 
We say Christ Jesus comes to us and brings God’s salvation. The church, that’s all of us, names Jesus as our Savior.  We proclaim Him as Lord and Savior.  We are saying, confessing to, and proclaiming that He comes to heal us; to make our broken humanness whole; to strengthen our human weaknesses. In His human nature, he experienced despair, brokenness, pain, death, healing. He knows what is to be fully human, warts and all. Is this where our hope should be? Perhaps the answer I, we, are looking for?

The idea that salvation principally means a “rescue from” something could be considered a negative concept. I don’t believe sending an S. O. S. to God or spelling out HELP in the sand is the answer.  Maybe there’s no really satisfactory answer for me, for us. Am I, are we, expecting too much?  I don’t know the answer.

But this is not the answer. Expecting to be “rescued from” all the aspects of illness and disease does little in a positive way to ease our hurting souls and sick bodies in need of healing. It sometimes brings doubts in faith and lives full of despair. We hear: “Because of this disease, I’ve lost control over my life!” As if we ever had full control. “Is this sickness punishment for my sins?” “Should I feel guilty that I am the cause?”  “If there is no divine intervention, why should I hope? Why should I believe?”

Salvation in a more positive concept God gifts us into a deeper intimacy with Him. God’s loving, salvific acts enable us to better understand that healing is less about our bodies and more about the health of our souls.

The words from St. Paul assure us we share in Christ’s glorified body, here and now; each in our own brokenness. Like his broken body made whole and healed by God’s power, we share in that healing power as well. It is the promise of God’s Spirit dwelling within us.
Our response to that promise is to accept that in our sufferings we are participants in Christ’s life; to know in our hearts, in the midst of our pain, with a certainty, that God never withdraws from us, never abandons us. We are in Christ, and he is in us. In this oneness with Christ, we begin to see how our sickness and pain are consecrated to our total life in Christ. We know that Jesus suffered and died in agonizing, excruciating pain. We share in that suffering. We share in that pain.

Are we now encountering one of the great mysteries of our faith? The mystery that somehow (a theologian’s favorite word) there is Devine healing happening always? Are we in our human inability to really know God’s true nature getting into the unknowable, the ineffable mysteries of our faith?

Maybe we are. All we can do is rest with confidence and hope in God’s gift of intimacy and grace.

I see no clear answer in my struggle about healing prayer except in the reality of God’s steadfast love and mercy; in God’s compassion for His children.
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And in: “My grace is sufficient for you.”
 
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Middle Prayer

12/1/2022

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“ . . . the Spirit of God dwells in you. The Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according the will of God.”
Rom. 8:9, 26-27
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Paul’s insight about prayer strikes a resounding “wow, he hit the nail on the head for me.” Most of my prayers are inarticulate groans. I struggle with finding words. I struggle to voice heartfelt pain; to clarify my hopes, to ask for healing, for understanding, for solace. And guess what! God’s Spirit dwelling within me so completely understands, accepts my feeble attempts and helps me “in my weakness.” I experience this most often when in the chapel, God’s Spirit always there to help me find healing words for those who seek healing.
Reading again Richard Foster’s book “Prayer,” I thought I would share his thoughts about praying. The idea of middle prayer; that prayer takes place in the middle voice; that we do not have to have everything perfect when we pray.
We often tackle prayer in the same way we tackle every other task – by hard work with an intensity to try, try, try again. Does that ring a bell? The thing is we have to let go of all that intensity; of all that trying harder.
Letting go, we enter into a stillness and silence. And we discover God’s presence in that stillness and silence. We discover God is always already here! God is continually praying along with us. We begin to experience prayer in which God acts and we receive; prayer in which we act and God receives, all at the same time: “middle prayer.”  
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The Power of the Resurrection

11/1/2022

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“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there will you be also.” John 14: 1-6

The average life expectancy today for American men like me is 77 years. Any man nearing the end of 90 years as I am would be considered an outlier, living way beyond 77 years.

So, lately whenever I think about my own death, I think about my own resurrection. I believe in the very core of my being that I will be lovingly greeted by the glorified Jesus, by my beloved Bonnie, by family and friends, all who have gone before me. I believe He has a place for me beyond this mortal life and I will share with them the abundant life He promised.

Anticipating death is one of the ways we remind ourselves of the promise and presence of eternal life.  Death is when we claim the promise of the resurrection. I believe we experience the power of the resurrection in a personal way, in a way as unique as we are. I believe it will mean the end of all earthly things for us, the end of the world as we know it. It will be for us Jesus’ Parousia, not in a general or theoretical way, but ultimately in a very personal way.
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“And you know the way to the place where I am going. Thomas said to him, ‘Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life’”
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Prayer

10/24/2022

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“He was praying in a certain place, and after he had finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.” So, he said to them, “When you pray, say:

Father, may your name be revered as holy.  May your kingdom come.
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Give us each day our daily bread. And forgive us our sins,
 for we ourselves forgive everyone indebted to us.  And do not bring us to the time of trial.”

Luke 11:1-13
Here we have another Gospel reference to John the baptizer having disciples. A fact that sort of fleshes out the person who John was, a charismatic teacher with a loyal following. No wonder the Jews at the time thought he was the one who has come to restore the kingdom of Israel to its former greatness.

Jesus, in his prayer, reminds us to be reverent when speaking of God. Jesus refers to God’s name. Naming a person infers a familiarity with and a closeness. In this case, as close as a child to a father and mother.

I believe Jesus, in every moment of his life, is aware of God’s constant and intimate presence. At times of crisis; when he needs answers he goes to his Father. He senses his need to speak to his Father who is always ready for His son. Jesus goes to a quiet place to pray. And there in quiet places he speaks with His Father.

God has an open invitation for Jesus and to us.

Prayer does not begin with us. Rest in the faith that God already initiates something within us.  Our prayer is ultimately a response to God; God’s invitation to encounter with the One who loves us.

We pray acknowledging our own weakness. It is worldly weakness, not worldly strength, that enables us to encounter God. By rejecting worldly power and ambition, we open ourselves to be guided by God’s Spirit. We are led to encounter God face-to-face in the person of Christ Jesus who said, “Whenever you pray”.
 
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Salt of the Earth

9/30/2022

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We are the Church! We are the salt of the earth!

“You are the salt of the earth, but if the salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored? It is then good for nothing, but is thrown out and trampled foot.” Matt 5:13

“For everyone will be salted with fire. Salt is good; but if salt has lost its saltiness, how can you restore its saltiness? Have salt in yourselves and be at peace with one another” Mark 9:49-50

Jesus asks the question “Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt among yourselves, and be at peace with each other.”  In truth, salt is salty because it is salt.  Salt isn’t sweet, nor is it bitter, it is salt because of the nature of what it is.

We are by God’s design and from the very core of our being, intended to reflect the glory of God in everything we do. As the refiner’s fire of the Holy Spirit works within us, we become the salt that we are intended to be.

Just as no one uses one grain of salt expecting it to be effective, we too are not meant to be only one grain of salt in the world.  Jesus concludes this brief parable by stating, “Have salt among yourselves, and be at peace with each other.” The salt, then, is not just one person but a collective that functions together. The church, when it strives to pursue God and display His glory, profoundly impacts the world through us.  We are the Church and like salt, we provide flavor and life to whomever we touch and in whatever we do. We preserve the integrity of the that which we proclaim, Jesus Christ has died, Jesus Christ is risen, Jesus Christ will come again.  
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Living in the Presence of God

9/2/2022

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“So that they would search for God and perhaps grope for him and find him – though indeed he is not far from each one of us. For in him, we live and move and have our being” Acts: 17: 27-28

Jesus invites us to live in God’s presence in all ways and at all times. His invitation is explicit in his teaching and in his whole life living in God’s presence. Indeed, His life is a model for us.

From The Cowley Magazine, I recently met in spirit Brother Lawrence of the Resurrection (1614-1691). As a soldier in the 30 Years war, he suffered a near-fatal injury. He was left crippled and in chronic pain the rest of his life. He became a monk and a cook in the Carmelite monastery in Paris. What is extraordinary about Br. Lawrence is he lived the whole of his life in the presence of God. It was transparent to everyone who knew him, to everyone who came to him for solace and prayer that he practiced living in the presence of God.
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The practice of living in the presence of God is an existential way of living arrived at from a conscious and constant inner awareness that we live in God’s presence. It is really a matter of conscious love: God’s love for us and our love in response.
We are given the gift of life. We say in our creed The Holy Spirit is the Lord and giver of life. We worship God Emmanuel, God is with us, in all times and in all places.
Each breath we take, each heart beat is a reminder that God is present, loves us, is active within us and around us, sustaining and blessing our lives. Practice becoming actively conscious of living in the presence of God as you inhale and exhale.
 
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Family Meals

8/1/2022

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“Now as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he said the blessing, he broke it and gave it to his disciples. ‘Take and eat,’ He said, this is my body.’ Then he took the cup, and when he had given thanks, he handed it to them saying, ‘Drink from this, all of you, for this is my blood, the blood of the covenant poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.’”
Matthew 26: 26-28


Jesus in giving of himself in this meal, in dying on the cross and glorified in his Resurrection has universal significance for all humanity.

This Passover meal is no ordinary meal. Jesus is with his companions who became his family, whom he loves and who love him. During the meal, Jesus inaugurates the sacrament of the Eucharist.

In most cultures a meal is perhaps the most important moment of sharing and intimacy within the life of a family. To be invited to share in the hospitality of such an event is a privilege and a sign of friendship, acceptance, and respect.

These past two weeks, during many meals with my family and friends, I experienced love, laughter and sharing of memories. Gatherings that for me were extraordinary and had special meaning.
I believe all such experiences with family in some wonderful ineffable way reflect the familial and mutual love evident in that Passover meal.

Do not most families at meals, graced with blessings, to celebrate an event, or just to get together, experience love and joy? Are not all such family gatherings a gift from God and somehow have sacramental significance? Do we not experience that in every Eucharist: fellowship, agape love, sharing a meal, sharing Jesus?   
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Meditation and Reflections Psalm 63:1-3

6/13/2022

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“God, you are my God, from early morning I am with you; my heart thirsts for you, my body longs for you, as a land parched, dreary and waterless.”
I am bold to call you Father, yet I seem so far away from you. How can this be? I know you are with me but in the roar of the world I cannot hear you; in the depths of my being, I perceive a void. Where is this desert the psalmist speaks of? I must look into my own heart for I am responsible for that void. I know that in my self-absorption, in my turning away from you I become oblivious to your presence in my life. Yet, I thirst and your Spirit quenches my thirst. I hunger and your Son feeds me. I am restless and you give me the hope of your Eternal kingdom. I pray I become aware every moment in every way of your presence in my life.
“Thus, have I gazed on you in your sanctuary, seeing your power and glory.”
Lord, I see your glory in him just as Peter, James and John did on the mountain. At our gathering you give me your Son: Transfigured . . .  Crucified . . . Risen. At your table, here in a holy place Christ feeds me and nourishes your life in me, heals my wounded nature and frees me from death.
“Better your faithful love than life itself; my lips will praise you; thus, I will praise you all my life. In your name lift up my hands. A song of joy on my lips and praise in my mouth.”
At worship and in the world doing the work you give me to do, for all the blessings you gift me, Lord, I thank you. It is a good and joyful thing to love and worship and speak to you.
“Yahweh, you examine me and know me; you know when I sit and when I rise. You watch when I walk or lie down. You know every detail of my conduct.”
God knows and loves me, beckoning me into a relationship personal, intimate and faithful. How can I hear God’s voice and follow where God leads? Does God call ordinary people like me? And, to what and where does God call me?
“Where shall I go to escape your Spirit? Where shall I flee from your presence?
God calls out to me. Inviting me to share God’s life. How can I hear that call? What could hearing it mean as I live day to day?
“If I speed away on the wings of the dawn. If I dwell beyond the ocean, even there your hand will be guiding me, your right hand holding me fast.”
Lord, I pray I recognize The Risen Christ in me and in everyone I see. I ask for your enabling Grace that as I hear your call, I learn step by step to walk with Christ. And in answering your call I discover myself.
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What is God's Vision for Us?

6/6/2022

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“I said to the angel who spoke with me, “What are these, my lord?” 5 Then the angel who spoke with me answered me, “Do you not know what these are?” I said, “No, my lord.” 6 He said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, says the Lord of hosts. 7 What are you, O great mountain? Before Zerubbabel you shall become a plain, and he shall bring out the top stone amid shouts of ‘Grace, grace to it!’ 8 Moreover, the word of the Lord came to me, saying, 9 “The hands of Zerubbabel have laid the foundation of this house; his hands shall also complete it. Then you will know that the Lord of hosts has sent me to you. 10 For whoever has despised the day of small things shall rejoice and shall see the plummet in the hand of Zerubbabel.” Zechariah 4:4-10

The prophets Zachariah and Haggai wanted the destroyed temple rebuilt. They hoped for renewed community with a vision of the Jewish people dating back to the days of King Solomon. However, rebuilding the temple was controversial. Many in Jerusalem were not Jewish. They were against rebuilding the temple which had no significance for them.

The trouble with religious convictions or beliefs is that we can rarely prove or disprove them. So, we start arguing with those whose conviction and beliefs differ from our own. History is filled with groups who believe they were exclusively endowed with divine truth so that they possess a unique mission and a unique authority within it.

Disagreement over religious and political issues is nothing new. It need not separate us from “One God, One faith” into bitter and hostile siblings. Today, we encounter committed Christians, who advocate different values and different understandings of the value of faith. We find disagreements and polarities, from those who advocate for secular values in a secular sphere, to those who want to see a more “Christian” nation.

God does have a vision for us. How do we live it out? We say we believe in God within us, the Holy Spirit of healing and forgiveness, of agape love.

The answer could be to switch from belief to practice; from believing things about Jesus to imitating Jesus.

“The commandment we have from him is this: those who love God must love their brothers and sisters.” 1 John 4:21
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Worry

5/23/2022

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My sisters and brothers may the grace of God be with you.

“And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?” “So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Matt 6:27,34

I share this because these days there are so many things in our lives that discourage, cause stress and worry.
 
Just living in this day and age gives all of us real and concerning issues to stress and worry about. Most of which we cannot solve all by ourselves: the economy, the price of gas, the war in Ukraine, national policies. I’m sure you can add to the list. There are those we can do something about, even alleviate, getting beyond! They won’t disappear. But I believe the worry and stress will!

Looking back just over the last weeks, the issues I worried about could really have bothered me: a crashed computer, possibility of losing everything, post-op healing of my left hand.

Jesus provides us with some simple yet profound wisdom in navigating through these troubled waters. Jesus tells us to listen to God’s voice in the present moment, to act on what we hear, and to accomplish the one or two things we can do today. Just moving ahead, doing what we know has to be done about an issue, somehow reduces the stress.

What helps me get through the day is praying in the morning, the prayer “A Morning Resolve” from “Forward Day by Day”. 
 “I will try this day to live a simple, sincere life, repelling promptly every thought of discontent, anxiety, discouragement.” 

During the day, as worries tend to flood my mind, I remember the prayer. I think: "God will take it from here. It will be better. Issues will resolve." And they somehow do resolve! I can breathe again! Ah, serenity! Ah, joy!

For me, it really is a sane way to live. Remember Jesus is always with us, and in us and invites us to:

“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble of heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  Matt 11:28-30
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Be well,
In Christ,
Rev. Bob Perrino
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    The Rev. Robert A. Perrino

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